On writing and emotions

The extremes are working in my favour today. A condolence, to the passing time; a moment trapped in a second. The alphabets are confused, yet they speak for themselves. Then there are emotions. My feelings flooding the gates of my well being. A metamorphosis. An evolution.

Most of life is tied to an emotion- to a span, feeble. A moment of indecisiveness.

Here are my attempts, to write something, out of my emotions, out of the context. The heaviness of camouflage. To be something I am not. To write without feeling, failing, at being a writer. My pen struck with tragedy. There is no limit, to trying. If writing only when you are loved or falling apart, is art. Then what is this?

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I’m finding it hard to write these days. There’s too much going on so there’s not enough time to check my phone or read your wonderful works. I’ll try to get back here slowly. Happy blogging you all ♡

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© 2023 mermaidspen

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Conversations around the Kitchen table

What are your family’s top 3 favorite meals?

Food, I have come to realise is a really important component in order to bind a community. Like, I enjoy eating it with people I love but it’s really hard to gulp anything down if I’m surrounded by people I don’t know or I’m expected to bond with. Not long ago I was thinking of this and today I saw the prompt. So, yeah.

Let me show the meals I always enjoy with my family. Tell me about your food too?

Kadai Chicken with Butter Naan

Spiti Omlette with Chai

Mutton Momos

Pahadi Rajma (Kidney beans), Mix veg, Rayta and Tawa roti

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Here’s a poem I wrote on “Conversation around the dinner table”

The Lingering scent of yesterday’s dinner;
All the spices are at war.
The need to please is a plague.

I look at the tea cup
calming steam mixed with a craft;
It’s an art to know when to Stop.

Carefully picked cutlery for fun times
but all are lost in the colorful flowers;
Being around and being present
are two different things.

Kitchen tables are playgrounds
sometimes they are war zones too;
The world can heal or end there easily.

(Wrote this for NaPoWriMo ’23 and I absolutely enjoyed writing)

Note to self

Write freely? Let the words fall in place? Write with no strings attached? No.
Try writing with all your emotions attached to that one word which made you write in the first place. Read shitty poems on internet, write shitty poems on internet and re read your work. Because, who cares. Be your biggest fan. Take the compliments, take them all. It took you so much to reach here, stand your ground and take all the praise. Write what you want when you want and where you want. Fall in love and don’t try to hold it in anymore. Let yourself fall and let yourself love. Don’t be afraid to have your heart broken. It’s about time, just live.

~ 🧜‍♀️

© 2023 mermaidspen

Watertight compartments

A house always does
what a house should do
no matter the cost,
for the benefits are worth.

A high wall, a decorated lawn
Pretty to look at
hard to be seen.
A tall gate, beautiful colours
Stone-cold beauty
Impregnable.

Empty marbles
Indeed a marvel!
A graveyard waiting for all
to join in,
Can’t claim all the land.
Why don’t you just live?

© 2022 mermaidspen

To bake a cake in the eye of the Storm

It hurts to grow old, he said
with a hint of pain in his eyes,
and looked at his trembling hands
maybe was trying to recognise something.

“Movement is tiring” he said
to bake a cake in the eye of the storm,
To see the same souls and faces
in all the people, in all the forms.

I wonder if it gets better
for they say everything does,
People generalise though
And when they do,
do they think of us?

Maybe it’s more about losing
than to fit in,
All the storms took things from us
But I miss the spot
We used to sit in.

© 2022 mermaidspen

Things that make home- a poem

There’s this tiny plant at home
which fills me with a desire to roam,
I hold my heart and lay on grass
A shiny thing, fragile as glass.

Walls here are over protective
The colour? Not so attractive,
Feelings grip my ankle, as hard as stone
I’m filled with desires, completely unknown.

The sun is roaming in the sky
A bird is here, to lie,
Earth has me and stubborn trees
You and me- children of a chilly breeze.

I thought I had forever
Was running on the motto of- now or never,
I don’t know how just be
It must take great price, to actually be free.

© 2022 mermaidspen

Shadows

How do you manage to keep going
without the urge to throw yourself
away?
How does it feel like hearing everything
but your own heart?
Does it really get better with time?
Do layers of skin mange to cover it all?

Tell me how you escaped the pit
of rusty flowers decorating
humnae need of art,
Is there a way to escape your shadow?
Have you made peace with it all?

Deep down, in your heart
does it shine bright like the day?
Or is it pretty like the sky?
If you smiled bright
and visited be places
Would it matter?

Tell me,
Does it get better?
Tell me,
Is there any way out?

© 2021 mermaidspen

30 of 60

Most foolish act is to break down a minute. Time seems to be the most visible truth, unbiased and irrational or it’s engulfed by the past yearning for tomorrow?
For half a second, I’ll let the grief leave and try to look for good, for they say, you find happiness when you look for it. It can be true. We all want good. When we find it, we embrace the shadows and hold on to them, tight.
But grief? It’s not that hard to find it, You see. It’s always in the air as there’s no place for sadness in the bones. We hurt ourselves to merely fool ourselves, by building this wall of ‘soul’s pain’. We pretend not be bothered by whatever is outside.
But, what’s the point of killing pain with pain? Point of killing 30 of 60 seconds over what will always linger after another 30 of 60 (seconds/minutes)?
Every second I feel myself engulfed by the second that passed and the one yet to come, I’m stuck in time.
Is this what we call living!?
What if we were built this way? All of us? Can desire justify it or do I have to look for the synonyms of ‘escape’?
Desire is like air, it’s always there.

Most of the times we are unaware. We’re all stuck here, who said life is fair?

A City of heartbreaks

My being is hanging out with the thought of being myself at almost all the times and the urge to be anything but me.Thought is an act of violence. The urge to be somethingbut me, is the violence against what I am. The urge  to be nowhere but near you.

Is it possible for a person to be envious of a place?

To be honest I’m tired of writing about you, tired of writing about writing about you. Whenever I am about to ditch the thought of writing, a desperate poem about how your city is covered in broken hearts, start screming in my lungs. Is your city drowning in broken things or running on it?

I hope the next time you cross a mart, it snows. I hope it snows to the extent that your cold city start shivering, I hope you get a taste of what you’re serving. For atleast 12 days I want the snow to stay there (beauty deceiving hearts), for 12 days are the maximum amount of time you’re capable of loving someone and your city is cruel for 12 months in a row.

Tonight, after reading this, when you’ll call me, I’ll miss 11 of them but pick 12th, for I know you won’t call after 12th. Even though, I promise myself to be better and be me, I lose myself to your city.
A city of tall buildings.
A city of cold hearts.
A city of you.

© 2021 mermaidspen

Things that matter.

A poem, you ask?
I sit here and think, wondering what
we are,
when doors are shut
Tight and hard.

Alright, I will come with you for the trippy fight;
also, came with my freshly chewed skin,
All the prose and adjectives are here
We’ll keep them the way they have always been.


Let me give you a guilt trip with rich metaphors
Like the whispers you heard last night,
we’re beautifully demonic; we walk like angels.
A war against the world, you say? would you dare?

When next time you come to fight beside me
I’ll remember everything you tried to shatter,
But my question is , are you here because it matters
Or for the fame that comes later?

© 2020 mermaidspen