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rant

Tell me?

Lately, I have been feeling so pissed at world and my head seems full of rants, probably not going to talk about that to someone. So I guess I’m starting to write them down here.

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I have been called pretty, beautiful and all the things someone want to hear, but I don’t want to hear that. I wanted to hear something more that that, something that have value to me ( values and ideas vary) .Recently, I met one of my aunts, she looked me and said you’re going to be a great mother…
Okay. I get it. Women are the arc reactors where we put the same ingredients and wait for the same products, the same expected results from generations.
She didn’t ask me about my major or my favourite book, what if I don’t want to be an arc reactor? What if I want to be more that what I already am?
Why people always talk about boobs and womb, why nobody talk about strength and brains? Why they always talk about finding the right guy and have the fucking happily forever and after? Are we living in Disney’s dimension?

Why no one is teaching their kids to be more than what they can be?

By Kajal

Hello there, Kajal here! I started blogging in September, 2018. It was purely random as I needed a space to pour my heart and thoughts out. This place is like my safe heaven where I let my fingers and feelings run free to curate poems and to rant about things that are bothering my thoughts. My journey here has been bittersweet and wonderful at the same time. But because of all the love I receive here, I keep coming back to read and to write.You all have been great support and advicers to me and I'm really grateful. Your feedback, emails and comments keep the mermaid inside me going :)

128 replies on “Tell me?”

Very strong statements you’ve brought up. I agree, many young folks are busy chasing kids and family because some parents are still focused in the old ways of living and don’t realize that in today’s world each individual goes there own path. Learn and travel many months and years to really find out who they are

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Good rant. Your aunts happen to be focusing on procreation, I know some other aunts focus on what books they haven’t read or which of their children top the famous uni. It’s the same thing in different clothing. Will be great that they have real interest in who we are and have a 2 way conversation.

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Totally agree with you. While conversing most of the times they don’t try to know your opinions and that just leads to miscommunication.

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Some aunts, people, speak about the life they know and understand.
Some would speak about education and knowledge and everything amazing. To be the best version you could ever be.
Some, just speak of woman=children, home, boobs and you know the rest.

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I’ll tell you something, I’ve seen women tell other women to behave like a woman. what does that even mean? I’ve seen women use “I’m a woman” as an excuse rather than a proclamation of pride.
If you don’t support or empower yourselves, who will? I am aware that men look down on women, treat them as inferior but if you don’t strike back, how do you expect things to change? Mentally strong woman is a force to be reckoned with, so they try to suppress that. Break out.
Most of these thoughts develop in a household where they were raised so we can’t blame them either.
Change should start from us, at least now.

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Thank you so much Bharath. I have been looking for these words, sometimes you need to hear what you already know.

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Good for you I admire someone who tells it like it is you do things your way because in the end it’s your life and always be proud of who you are.

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Full of rants and venting out through your post. Stereotype of the woman as the carer has to be done away with. Beyond the physical realm there are values and ideals that a woman embodies and it’s high time everyone acknowledges and respects it.
Let me TELL YOU instead of being pissed off because of such things just laugh them off and you’ll be amazed by the wonders it does to you and your overall wellbeing. You are a mermaid in an infinite ocean…as always more power to you…cheers

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I have been laughing off but can’t do that every time.. There is a limit and some people just don’t understand that.
Thank you for the encouraging words.

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I get it. But it’s it time for a change. Without change we’ll be stuck at a point and I’m just not ready for that.

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It catches you and then rankles. I feel it. After I turned thirty I used to get bombarded with the stories of women who had had children in their thirties. It’s a raw catch. <3

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Girls grow up being told they are pretty and well-behaved, boys are told are strong and smart. For women, it is the start of being told you are decoration to the world. For men, it is being trapped in a macho hole where feelings are forbidden. As a society I think we will change over time. Until then, all we can do is individually make a difference to those in our world.

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I get what you are saying however have you ever been on the other side of pretty. People are crude and constantly remind you what you look like and somehow blame you for anything on your face that they don’t like. When you’re on the other side of pretty as a woman the world can be cruel. And no one cares about hurting the feelings of an ugly person.

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I get what you’re saying. All I said, values vary and we all what to hear what means something to us. In one way or other we are the same side of a coin.
I have never been on the other side but I do know how that feels.

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I think that sometimes people think that they are being helpful with their words,when they are not. That seems to be the case (from afar) of what you aunt had said. Perhaps she is speaking from the mold of her generation?

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Strong statement Kajal.. our people I would say specially women in early 80’s or before were just following what their ancestors were following for ages..
I hear what u said from most of my female frnds in this era… here is the change that wasn’t the case in early 80’s

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I am sorry if I am wrong…

But…
Appreciating beauty requires honesty. It needs a bit of openness. It needs an eye to recognise others. It is valuing others than ourself.

But…
Too much of something will always irritate us. Even appreciation need to have a limit. Agree…

But…
There are people who are never being appreciated. We love to hear some… We wait all our life for those words.

Same world, different souls, different problems.

And…

About…
Looking at beauty is part of evolutionary ethics. Don’t take it wrong. But…I think it’s wrong if we ONLY look at the beauty in the name of evolution concept.

As part of our evolution, we may be born to think about boobs & womb. Sorry! But it’s natural. It doesn’t mean to overlook all your achievements. Your achievements & accomplishments certainly are the root cause for many of us to reply to you today. We love the way you write, so it’s a natural curiosity that we think/imagine that you will be beautiful. It’s as simple as that we think/imagine that the greatest singers are beautiful. We do think/imagine that the greatest writers are beautiful. We look at their art and think that they will have a beautiful heart.

Those people who are near to you might be appreciating you based upon your capabilities. Your achievements might be making you look more beautiful. More confident. More respectable. But all in short in the end…it is all about YOU…we love you as a person… then your achievements.

If I am a person with no significant achievements, don’t I deserve to be recognised?

I don’t know why some things dominate for some time and some other thoughts take up that place later. I think it’s like seasons. Like a circle of thoughts. They keep changing & rotating. We can’t say what comes first and what comes last. If we are looking at beauty (or) looking at your achievements (or) a thought that you will make a good mother? They all together exist in you! They all together make us appreciate or recognise you as a wonderful person.

That’s the beauty of our mind. If we like… we keep aside all the flaws. If we don’t…only flaws pop up in our mind. Ha! Ha! Ha! Have a good day! Sorry if i am wrong.

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You don’t have to be sorry for having an opinion.
Valuing someone’s appearance is okay but valuing only appearance is not. Very well said. Thank you for your time and words. I appreciate them.

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Every night, mostly it will be a late-night I will be returning from work, I need to buy my food from a roadside food stall on a highway. The shopkeeper keeps waiting for me as he knows if he didn’t give me food, I will sleep hungry for the night.

So every day while I struggle to cross that busy road on foot, the shopkeeper keeps looking at my stunt. ( ha! ha! ha! Don’t imitate).

But every time I after crossing half the way and standing on the divider…with vehicles speeding at different speeds around me, lights glaring, horns and lot of sound around me… I always think… “This is how opinions work!” I need to decide which Vehicle I should let it pass and which vehicle I can cross. Finally reaching shop After all the struggle, the shop keeper sometimes will say… Bro! the road is empty…you should have crossed it long back! (Or) Some times he will say…Bro! Do care for your life! Take time and let some vehicles pass!

This is how opinions work.
From his view, sometimes it appears the road is clear, some times it is not. From my end, it will be different. It depends upon where each of us stands.

Opinions depend on where we stand in our life. Everyone’s viewpoint is different.
And everyone is right in this world.

This is what I learned while jumping on the road like a monkey every night in India. About Opinions! (Ha! Ha! Ha!)

Never seen you writing with lot of anger. Scared to give an opinion actually. (Ha! Ha! Ha!).

Have a good day!

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Honestly, I’m happy if people call me pretty/beautiful/cute as long as they mean it (not just for pleasing me). But, I’ll be happier if they appreciate me based on my intelligence, skills, personality and achievements on something. Because women should be appreciated not only about their beauty and body.

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I think it’s out of habit. We limit ourselves to one another and what people think we should be. Although it’s sad and depressing, it’s also an eye-opener as to what you perceive and want out of life. That’s just my two-cents though

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How difficult it was for young people to understand life. Some parents stayed in times past and did not dare to cross the line of modernity. therefore, the lack of communication with the children left them completely helpless. Trivial knowledge does not solve problems. Then they have to look for the truth on their own. Traveling, interacting with well-defined groups in their concepts, will serve as a guide. Your thoughts are very good and they teach us to see you from a different point of view.

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people usually utter what they perceive, it is the frequency that matters the most, there life and perception are revolving around only such ideas, eventually, you will realize even its not their fault, it is the frequency they are getting from somewhere. that’s why saying is famous,, accompany those whom like you want to be

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maybe age has worn on me a bit and I look at your post differently… I think you just have to be whatever you want to be, what others say or portray or project means very little in the end (easy to say now!), the amount of things that have changed in my lifetime are quite astounding, and that is only a few decades… change is slow, we all think it will be a blink, it won’t, it never will, people have good intentions generally, does that make them right ? certainly not but it does not make them some oppressive force out to put you in a box, I was adopted and am nothing like my parents, in many ways I always felt like an alien, and held deep grudges against them for all the things they did when I was a kid to conform to their norm in which THEY believed, which I was not, but these days? they were younger and had no idea, this life doesn’t come with a rule book, they tried to do the right thing even if it came out wrong… and am I perfect? have I really been that shining example for all others in individuality and ground breaking persona at all times ? nah… so, it’s good to be mad, and want to rant, I think it is healthy, but also remember change is slow, humans aren’t perfect, so if someone thinks you are pretty and says so, take it from the source, not yours, there are plenty of people who will complement you on your inner beauty and mind, it may not be the normative and it may take time…. damn, you made me rant ! anyway, cheers, share your thoughts, in person at best, online, just as good, writing things out helps I think.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts ( and for the little rant, as we both think it’s good). I just feel fed up of hearing the same things, but as change take time, I’ll try to be more patient. Writing does help.

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Strong and deep…society need to be evolve more…I think your words are very true in ancient society…now evolution of mind is in process…in near future people will break few stereotype and will look and speak for more dimensions of each other life in near future…great thought provoking…blog…keep up great work mermaid…

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we are repeating the patterns passed down from generation to generation. it’s smart radicals such as yourself that are doing the heavy lifting to prune the patterns that do not serve the truth. so the games we play, as children in the masks of adults who pretend to know what is really going on here, get more authentic and juicy (might I add). life being a wonderful mystery.

thus creating works of art are celebrated. I really enjoy reading your blog. thank you for sharing your work!!

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I have been through my share of conversations where we cover what my husband is doing, what my kids are doing, and what my grandchildren are doing. I guess (I hope) those conversations are helping me to be more humble and remind myself that “It isn’t about me.” But every once in a while someone finds out I write, and they are so surprised! (“LOL”)
Recently that happened at church, and the woman and I laughed at the way things like that are. Then I found out something fascinating about HER that I didn’t know, either!

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Hello Friend,
Nice to meet you here, My name  is Princess Anabel,
feel free to email me,  i will be expecting to read for
you soon. so that we can know more about our selves and extend hand of friendship!
 With love and tender heart (ap9655809@gmail.com

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There goes a story a true one at heart. When I was going for my board’s exam one of my uncle visited me and while leaving gave me his blessings ” Get a good second division. I was so enraged I complained to my father saying ” I am going to be the topper of my school and the district, (actually got the second place 😬 ) why he is saying good second division. And he explained none of his sons ever got a second division either they just passed the exams. So he said what he thought was best.

People are the prisnors of their own visions. Some fly in the sky while others remained caged all of there life. That’s how it is.

May be she thought that being a mother is the best thing ( well no one can deny it). May be that’s the greatest thing she could do.

As far as judging someone by the looks. Then one aspect of someone’s personality may always be the more dominant one. ( Like aiswarya Rai may act briallantly in a movie but most people will always call her pretty than a great actress.

That’s how life is.

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Even as young as I am my parents keep telling me about marriage and kids and its importance like every single second, all talks end up on that and never on what I want to do in life. (This has clearly given me an understanding of why I will not get married.) I will follow what I want but I don’t think I will ever tell them anything about my plans because as far as others, including parents, all decisions we make are wrong always. Well, we learn from making decisions right or wrong. Maybe I will just leave the house after I have a job so no need for all the dramatic explanations for my choice.
Anyway, I think all these “advises” that people give on this topic should be used as a way for us to make a decision. After all, it is our life and everyone else have only the right to rant about it and only we have the key to live it.

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I understand. No one is denying that all those things are good, it’s simply that some people more things from life than others.
I understand, a lot of my known have no idea about my blog too. But that’s okay I don’t even want to tell them.

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By Post Author

I think this life is like a vortex that repeats itself for the old generation, they do not admit how much life has changed especially for the role of women. She is no longer just a wife and mother, she is an important and productive element in the society today, so forget what your aunt said she sees life from the perspective of the life of her youth and what she produced, and does not blame. But seek behind your goals and write everything that comes to your mind, writing is a self-medication, especially for those who do not have friends who trust that they can tell them everything that goes on in their mind, make a new activity life is short and fleeting, and if you want to have children someday, do it when you feel it is the right time with the right person, And don’t wait to hear some nice qualities from people. Instead, compensate yourself for saying these qualities to yourself when you look at the mirror and be proud of yourself without relying on anyone. wishing you all the best.

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I want to be a mother. I think this role is the most fulfilling and useful for me. This is not to say that it’s the same for you. I don’t believe your aunt meant to stifle you or advise you to submit to a role that you aren’t ready for. She probably meant it as a compliment to you. I’m 22 and I have friends who are in their mid 30s – they are just now wanting to have children – all of them have productive careers too – but from their viewpoint, having a baby is their goal. It’s tough for them too. There’s so many factors to measure before bringing a child into the world. Mainly though, they tell me that there’s a dearth of men around willing to be fathers etc. So, this has made me think that maybe I should pay attention to passing time and start planning having a family of my own in the next few years rather than wait.

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That’s the whole point. Point of views vary and that’s beautiful. We should never the other person to feel the same we’re feeling towards one thing.

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ionwhitepoetry2 you are a woman which is an honorable thing and you are wise enough to see reality, accepting the greatness of that fact you move forward into the light and joy of being alive; not backward into despair! The enemy wants any of us to not see the great value in being what we were intended to be while in this plane of material existence; so you decided to live it to the fullest and work your way through it instead of quitting before you start! Simple truth and facing reality will bring enlightenment and wisdom; but not facing it brings ruin and despair! In these parts guys would say, “it is what it is,” which is only a fraction of the truth, because “appreciating what it is” shows enlightenment and broadens the perceptions and happiness of living this life to the fullest, even learning how much joy there is in appreciating the simplest things around us! Then and only then, it all seems so beautiful and enriched!

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Women are not repressed at all and that is a false statement. They are quite the contrary, especially these days; but not accepting reality is true repression because it restricts one from just living life as it is and was intended not by you or me or any person but by the Creator. We are not the makers we are the partakers! Think and face the awe and mystery by living in reality, face it head on, be strong and not a complaining weakling fool! Far left thinking is a trap to conquer and destroy minds as well as hearts!

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Yes Lawrence, we are in 21st century,but some parts of world are still stuck in 19th.
I know Ishita, I have been there.

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By Post Author

Islam represses women and indeed all human beings. Communism represses all human beings, dictators repress all human beings, but I speak to how most are not repressed in this modern age and that true repression is induced by one’s own perception or lack of it and limiting from within them-self. This life is short so eternity awaits, and that points out how much more anyone should make best use of every precious moment seeing truth and reality, which even if painful is a good thing in the end.
Good Luck.

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Absolutely true Ishita, so many bad influences out on the information, pop culture highway! Not just women but men too have to recognize that many highly publicized or acclaimed persons and their mind-sets or organizations are not interested in helping anyone other than themselves! The Democrat party in America has done this in spades and morphed into an organized conspiracy of thugs, criminals, despots, freaks, and even evil diabolical plotters, a giant nefarious tyrannical machine influencing or controlling media and politics to maintain the agenda to take over the masses! Subtle humility and simple truth is easy to know amongst such rabble-rouse nefarious minions! At least for me as I’ve learned sometimes through hard knocks how to see them for what they are straightaway. Yes, both women and men beware there are those forces in the world that seek to suck you dry like the proverbial Dracula!
But to your main point women should embrace their positives and negatives because it is what makes us human and different sexes which ultimately together makes us all stronger complimenting each other not tearing each other apart! In doing this complimentary approach I believe there actually isn’t so much any negative anyway, as they are not significant within the give and take or ebb and flow of genuine human interactions! Peace.

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This is life, people will say what they want. If they wish to see us from their perspective, let them. We must know our worth. I am sure you know yourself better than those people, so don’t just let them ruin your mood.

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Diversity of mind, views and attitudes ,people will say what they think. Nobody can change it. So, better to let them be their own and you just have to focus on your believes and dreams. Don’t even waste your thoughts beyond the priority of your happiness.

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Life can be a waste or life can be creative. Life can be a bore or life can be a fairy tale. It’s your life and it’s your choice to make. The trick is finding the right reference books to find the answers. That’s a trick because nobody has the answer. But your early choices in life are hardly ever the final ones you make unless of course, you befall an accident or ill health.
You can always change direction. Sometimes at a great cost and sometimes not. Life’s a puzzle to which no one has the answer nor has anyone until you perhaps, written a book with the real answers in. Have good luck in life and you need nothing else.

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It’s about what one wants to make of life and whether a person places value on the unseen and the beyond or just this simple material plane of consciousness. Some people will never be satisfied or find peace of any kind but if they see beyond the singular purpose of passing along DNA and that something much bigger than that is happening, then that person will achieve everlasting peace and joy. Meanwhile, doing one’s best with what they have to work with and appreciating each moment of this life as a golden opportunity is the answer one needs to get the picture and see things in the right light. Unfortunately too many people only see mundane drudgery and have no purpose to be alive other than to function as a biological machine that takes in and puts out! Think of it, how stupid that would be for a high and mighty Creator to plan such a stupid thing as that, the Creator being that dumb makes no sense so therefore we must stand in awe of this miraculous gift and opportunity of a basic life each of us has for now set in motion toward a grandeur destination! We need only to worry about these simpler things that we can handle and leave the giant and miraculous to the Divine One who has it all under control and we’re not expected or able to do anything more than be thankful each and every minute we live! Seek this enlightenment and life is not a problem but a joy; if not it does seem pointless and a waste.

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You’re very welcome Kajal, always glad to help if I can, that to me is important in life, to reach out and help at times is healthy and vitally important for all people to try to do when they can help. But, I mention too not for ego or a prize but only when it is genuinely out of heart and compassion for others who are having difficulty. Some of us do this for family and close friends, and some don’t have family or anyone in particular, yet there are always so many others to help. The point is, it’s not healthy or good to only help thyself! It is greater to give than receive for both the receiver and the giver. Blessings to you.

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Sadly true. Whatever development we can go through, we’ll stay the same primitive primates who’s happy with thinking itself so much that won’t free from narrow thinking ever. 🙄

Have patience in the zoo, monkeys can throw shit. 🤗😅🌹

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